I'm Letting Go...........

It's been a little while since I've blogged but I guess that's because there isn't much that's happening on my end.  Well I'm back and want everyone to know I'm letting go!  No, I'm not of the dream of being a momma or of making my husband a dad but of thinking I can handle it all on my own. Of thinking that if I just wish on a star or a wishbone or be a good enough person that it will happen.  I realize now how silly that seems.  No matter how good of a person I am or how many wishes I send up, it isn't going to change the fact that it isn't His time!  What brought this on?  Well we had another "no" month but as my momma says- God isn't saying no, he's just saying not now.  So I keep looking forward to the next month in hopes our miracle will come.  This has been my process since October of last year....well actually it's been my process for the past 10 1/2 years.  I always say that I know in "His" time it will happen or that God will bless us when he is ready but I think something finally sunk in this last week.  My parents have been telling me to give it over to God and he will handle it how he seems fit.  I thought that I had done just that but something inside me woke up and I realized that while I can say I've been giving it to God, I haven't actually been able to let it go.  I want to fix what is wrong but I can't.  It's time I let go and let God!!  I am believing in miracles and that when He is ready for us to be parents, we will receive our blessing.  This was the first month that I didn't cry when I realized I wasn't pregnant.  Now that doesn't mean it didn't hurt, but I didn't cry.  I've decided that it's time for a change- a new outlook if you will.  God can handle the miracle part and I will take care of my body, get it healthy, take my meds and wait for his blessing.